know how your mom said tv would rot your brain?

Well my Spanish estudiantes certainly take that phrase and live it to the absolute T.


Today, we wrote New Year's Resolutions which was fun all by itself. This is my absolute favorite class, I am just waiting for the end of the year when I tell them I am going home to America and they burst into tears. Anyways, some highlights, then back to my subject title. (Incidentally, this is EXACTAMENTE how I was taught to write papers in escuela. Introduce your thesis. Veer off topic in all directions, haphazardly and with little to no concern to your audience. Get back to point. Witty conclusion.)


Anyway, these are like 95% verdad, you decide which comments I kept in my head.


Chico: In 2010, I want to win a football match.
Me: No, idiot, its called a SOCCER GAME. You haven't won one yet? How many have you played?
Chico: (tries to do mental math) Eleven???
Me: So.... you're 0-11. Good luck! I think this is your year!


Chico 2: In 2010, I want to be a better football player.
Me: What position? Quarterback? Wait, are you on his team? So you haven't won a game either?
Chico 2: Yes.....
Me: Well, yeah, definitely practice.. with some teamwork you can both accomplish your goals for 2010.


Chica: In 2010 (she insists on saying "twenty-ten," says it sounds totally cooler... más chulo), I want to have a real boyfriend.
Me: NO! NO BOYFRIENDS! You're too young! WHYYYYYY?
Chica: Well, a real boyfriend but only for a month.
Me: Oh.... so you want 12 boyfriends?
Chica: NO! (Absolutely horrified.) I need to take a break between them.
I accept this statement as logical and well thought out.


Chico 3: I want a firm relationship.
Help of Profesor: He means he wants a STABLE relationship.
Just.... awesome.


And finally, my favorite/most appalling resolution, which leads to a general pandemonium in the class:
Chica 2: I want to go to the Bronx and Brooklyn and listen to the n****s make rap music in the streets.


First off, it took me a good 5 minutes to understand what the hell she was saying. Then I had to explain that it was inappropriate in ANY circumstances to use that word, but probably walking through the calles of the Bronx especially. Then, I told them that I had visited the Bronx before and didn't need Kevlar, though I only went to the zoo, so it wasn't THAT dangerous. The most dangerous thing I saw was probably some tigers and those guys were locked up.


Well, this statement really shocked the niños. I WENT TO THE BRONX AND SURVIVED???? DIOS MIO. The general uproar included questions such as: "Did you see anyone get shot?" "Were people dealing drugs in the streets?" "Is it all black people there?" "Was 50 cent there?"


My favorite conversation went something like this:


Chico 4: Did you see any bandas?
Me: Bandas? Bands? What are you talking about?
Chico 4: No... bandas... like Latin Kings
Me: NO!! Where are you getting these ideas?
Chico 4: I want to be in a gang when I grow up.
Me: Well.... that's not a good life choice.
Granted, this was my student who told me that he wanted to give up smoking. He is 15. Started when he was 12, but "only a little then".


Oh yeah, totally my favorite class. They certainly are.... spirited. Though perhaps they shouldn't believe everything they see on TV.